Thursday, October 29, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Otherwise, we are becoming even more concerned about the flu as our neice has H1N1, and our kids still haven't been vaccinated. I called the health department today, and they said it would be mid to late November before they could vaccinate Emily and Braylon but they would do Ashton and Ryan sooner than that at school. I know the flu to any kid can be devastating, but I am so worried about what would happen if Braylon (chronic lung disease and asthma, former 30 weeker preemie) or Emily caught it. And even the older boys don't handle respiratory infections very well, Ashton with asthma, and Ryan who has had bronchiolitis more times than I care to remember. And they are my healthy kids! It is a scary time, but we continue to pray our kids will remain healthy.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The boys played football all day Sunday, and between their games, we took the kids for a picnic in the park where Braylon and Emily played their own "football game." The coughing and gagging (and eventual vomiting) is pretty typical of what Emily does during activity when she starts to get short of breath. Dr. Young says it is air trapping that causes this.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The night before the biopsy, I began to accept that this might just be all the life my little girl would ever get to experience. It seemed to me that all the preparations at home had been for nothing. She would never again see the room I had painted for her. She would never get to wear the little pink dresses and sleepers I had bought her. I had other sons, but she was my one and only daughter, the little girl I had always dreamed of having, and she may never even again get to live life not attached to machines. It was at that point that I decided that she had to know that life was worth living, that there was more to life than pain, and I finally left her side that evening for a few hours so I could go to the store and pick her up a few things she might be able to appreciate right then and there even in the sedated paralyzed state she was in. I really feared this was all the time we would have left, and I was going to make every second count. I returned a few hours later with a little pink hat, little soft pink slippers, a soft pink blanket she could lay on, a teddy bear with her name on it, a CD with classical music lullabies, and a baby book so I could fill it out and have proof that she had indeed lived. That night, the nurse and I made footprints on her hospital photo (the one that showed my beautiful healthy daughter that I had brought home from the hospital only a few weeks before), we filled out that baby book as accurately but as positively as possible considering all she was going through and her young age (examples: favorite food was TPN, favorite toy was that teddy bear I had just bought her, favorite music was that CD I had just bought her, etc.). We also took many pictures of her "all dressed up" in her new hat and slippers and played her lullaby CD over and over for her. Maybe if she could just feel how much I loved her, she could hang on just a little bit longer until someone could find an answer for her. And amazingly enough, Emily held on through the night and next morning until it was finally time to say goodbye so they could take her to biopsy.